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< Return to Famous Scientologists Dr. Mensa (Fat Head), leader of Dynomonics (Dianetics/Scientology), played by actor Harry Anderson

Partial Transcript for
Lois & Clark, Season 4, Episode 22: "The Family Hour"
focusing on
Dr. Klaus Mensa ("Fat Head")
the founder of Dynomonics
(a satirical send-up of Dianetics and Scientology)
Also in this episode: Lois and Clark become parents of a baby

Lois & Clark Season 4, Episode 22 is titled "The Family Hour" primarily because it focuses on the efforts of Lois Lane and Clark Kent to start a family by having children. In previous episodes this season it was established that both Clark and Lois wanted to have a family. In this and and the most recent episode the desire of this married couple to have children has intensified. They already knew that there were fertility problems for them as a couple because Clark Kent is literally of a different species - a Kryptonian. Clark had long suspected that a Kryptonian man and Earth woman may be reproductively incompatible. In a recent episode, Clark went to his (Superman's) physician, Dr. Klein at S.T.A.R. Labs to be tested for fertility. In this episode, Lois and Clark receive the results and are disappointed to learn that, after Dr. Klein ran every test he could think of, the couple simple is not reproductively compatible. Lois was particularly devastated to hear this news. The couple also has a meeting with a representative from an adoption agency, who informs them that because of the high-risk nature of Lois Lane's career, the couple has been rejected as possible adoptive parents and there is little or no prospect of them being allowed to adopt a child in the future.

Another reason for this episode to be titled "The Family Hour" is that it features Clark's parents (Martha and Jonathan Kent) and Lois's parents (Sam and Ellen Lane), both visiting their children in Metropolis. Eventually, both sets of parents are abducted by the episode's villain, Dr. Klaus Mensa.

Finally, in an event that marks the cliffhanger for the season, the episode ends with a surprise. In the middle of the night, after a day of being disappointed over their apparent inability to have children, Lois and Clark are surprised to find that a baby is simply left for them downstairs. A note attached to the baby's blanket reads, "Lois and Clark, This child belongs to you."

As has been noted elsewhere, Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman is one of the most overtly religious media portrayals of the Superman in any media. The overall religious content in the series is higher than in most films, comics and other TV series (such as Smallville featuring these characters). Clark Kent and Lois Lane are portrayed as overtly religoius in many ways, and there are overtly religious elements in many of their adventures.

From a religious studies perspective, the villain in this episode is of particular note because the character is used as a vehicle for a satirical send-up of the Church of Scientology and its foundational methodology, Dianetics. The villain, Dr. Klaus Mensa (also known as "Fat Head") is obviously inspired in some ways by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, although there are limits to the parallels that one can draw. Dr. Mensa ultimately serves the purposes of this episode's story and is not an attempt to present a comprehensive critique of Hubbard or comparable parallel to the famous science fiction writer who founded Dianetics and Scientology.

In this episode, Dr. Mensa is the founder of "Dynomonics," an organization and methodology which a number of characters in this episode refer to using the "C word" ("cult"). Apparently these characters are unaware of the fact that the "C word" is offensive (comparable to the "N word", for example) and has been degraded in its usage to the point that the word is of no real academic or journalistic value. The episode makes no attempt to present an accurate or balanced portrayal of Scientology, Dianetics or L. Ron Hubbard. One could argue that it doesn't really have to, as this is clearly fiction and the "names have been changed to protect the innocent." Still, if one substituted "Jews" for "Dynomonics," or substituted "Dali Lama" or "Jesus" or "Malcolm X" for this episode's fictional "Dr. Mensa," it is easy to see how the one-sided portrayal of Dynomonics and Dr. Mensa as "evil" are patently offensive and intentionally disparaging. There is no evidence that the writers of this episode have significant first-hand experience with actual Scientologists. Ultimately, this episode of Lois and Clark was inspired more by pop culture myths and urban rumors surrounding Scientology, rather than real-world Scientology or historical facts about its founder. Of course, the same can be said about most fictional portrayals of real-world religious cultures and figures.

So, is Dynomonics intended as a fictional take on Dianetics and Scientology? Clearly the answer is yes.

It is worth noting that in addition to Dr. Mensa, the episode features two other "Scientologists" (that is, adherents of Dynomonics): Carter Clavens is a "rich, powerful, healthy" man in his thirties or early forties who was a devout follower of Dr. Mensa and Dynomonics before Dr. Mensa was jailed for criminal activity. Carter Clavens must have been fairly important or "high up" in Dr. Mensa's Dynomonics organization, because it is Clavens that Dr. Mensa visits first after being released from the Metropolis Federal Penitentiary. Dr. Mensa murders Carter Clavens as part of his quest to have revenge on the people who "betrayed" him. Soon thereafter we are introduced to another "Scientologist" (follower of Dynomonics): Misha is a brilliant Russian scientist and neurobiologist who is the science and business partner of Sam Lane (the father of Lois Lane). Like Carter Clavens, Misha is a former follower of Dr. Mensa. Like Clavens, Misha left Dynomonics when he realized that the organization was a front for Dr. Mensa's criminal activity and not simply a benevolent path to self-fulfillment and self-improvement. Aside from the Dr. Mensa himself, Misha emerges as the most important guest-starring character in this episode. Misha was indeed once a follower of Dynomonics and he makes a number of mistakes and displays moral failures in this episode when threatened by Dr. Mensa. Misha is, in fact, responsible for revealing to Dr. Mensa that Clark Kent is really Superman, thus endangering all of Clark's family. But ultimately Misha is redeemed as a character when he turns on his former leader and heroically helps thwart the villain's plot and save Superman's family. Carter Clavens and Misha are both portrayed as fairly admirable, intelligent and successful, but note that they are former followers of Dynomonics.

As for Dr. Mensa himself, there is no indication that he ever legitimately thought of Dynomonics as a real religion or church. Dr. Klaus Mensa appears to be driven purely by selfish motivations: greed, revenge, anger and narcissism. Unlike many comic book villains, he isn't somebody trying to force his own twisted view of a better world on people. Dr. Mensa is simply a criminal and sees himself as such. But he wants to be the world's greatest criminal.

On the other hand, despite all the negative traits that Dr. Mensa embodies, he is not a liar when it comes the potential of Dynomonics. It really does work. Using the methodology he developed, Dr. Mensa is able to deliver on his claims: Dynomonics actually did increase his mental capacity and give him vast telekinetic powers. Had Dr. Mensa been a person of nobility and character, Dynomonics could have been the path for him (and others) to unlock incredible human potential and be a benefit to mankind. Through Dynomonics, Dr. Mensa had real power that he could have used to become a great hero, comparable to Superman. Dr. Mensa's intelligence and discoveries and insight into the potential of the human mind could have made him a great leader. But his lack of character and his lack of noble aspirations were his true limitations. Dr. Mensa was right about his brain having limitless potential. But Dr. Mensa's stunted character meant that he remained a mere petty criminal.

Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman:
Season 4, Episode 22: "The Family Hour":
Detailed Episode Description and Partial Transcript

This episode's B-plot focuses on Lois and Clark trying to find out through scientific tests with Clark's doctor (Dr. Klein) if he can have children with Lois, while Clark's parents visit from Smallville. Dr. Klein tells Clark that he can not conceive a child with an Earth woman. Lois and Clark enlist the help of Lois's father, a scientist and inventor who has worked in many alternative and questionable fields, to see if he can help solve their infertility problem. The central villain of the episode is Dr. Klaus Mensa, who is known by the nickname "Fat Head." The nefarious plans of Dr. Klaus "Fat Head" Mensa" to obtain a super-weapon cross over with the B-plot involving Lois and Clark and their asking Lois's father for help.

[The first scene of the episode takes place in the dining room in the home of Clark Kent (Superman) and his wife Lois Lane. Lois is setting the table. Clark Kent exits the kitchen carrying plates of food, which he prepared using his super speed and heat vision. Clark goes back into the kitchen. The door bell rings, and Lois answers the door. A delivery man is delivering a large box. Lois opens it. Inside is a baby bassinet, the one that Clark's parents used for him when he was a baby. Lois asks, "Honey, is this your way of telling me... we can have a baby?" She looks very happy at the prospect.]

[Timecode: 1 minute, 20 seconds. Cut to Metropolis Federal Penitentiary. The large steel prison door rises from the floor, opening the way for a prisoner and a prison guard to exit. The prisoner is wearing a suit, prepared to leave prison after incarceration. His head is bald except on the sides and is massively over-sized. Dr. Mensa is played by veteran TV actor Harry Anderson, who is best known as the judge who was the main character on the sitcom Night Court.]

Unseen Guard: Open the gate!

Prison Guard: Well, I guess this is 'Adios', Dr. Mensa.

[Dr. Mensa, the large-headed man in the suit, looks around, frowning and saying nothing.]

Prison Guard: I hope this early parole doesn't go to your... head.
Lois and Clark Season 4 Episode 22: Dr. Mensa (Fat Head) leaves Metropolis Federal Penitentiary

[The guard laughs heartily at his little joke, emphasizing the word "head" to make fun of Dr. Mensa's large head. Dr. Mensa scowls at him through hateful eyes.]

Prison Guard: Sorry! Hey, look, I know we had our share of run-ins while you were inside, but, uh, no hard feelings, huh?

[The guard holds his hand out for Mr. Mensa to shake. His face shows he is sincere. Dr. Mensa says nothing, coldly ignoring the outstretched hand. Dr.Mensa walks away, leaving the guard and the prison behind. The guard is stung by this slight. His demeanor changes and he yells one final jibe at Dr. Mensa's back.]

Prison Guard: You know, you really are a fat head!

[The guard turns, walking back into the prison. Dr. Mensa turns and looks at the guard. Dr. Mensa concentrates, his eyes half-slits. Sound effects indicate that Dr. Mensa is using mental powers. As he looks at the guard, the guard's body is moved against his will, dragging him backward as if by an unseen force. Clearly Dr. Mensa has telekinetic powers - the power to move things with his mind. Dr. Mensa moves the guard backwards until the guard is standing right under the heavy metal prison gate. The guard yells, startled and frightened. The lever that causes the prison gate to drop moves without being touched by anybody. Dr. Mensa moved it with his mind. The heavy prison gate drops from the ceiling. The prison guard looks up and sees it heading toward him.]

Prison Guard: No! Ahhhh!!!!

[The scene cuts away from the guard to focus on Dr. Mensa, a close-up. We heard the gate slam down and the guard scream.]

Dr. Mensa: Don't call me "Fat Head!"

[Scroll opening credits.]

[We return to the family room and dining room area in the home of Lois Lane and her husband Clark Kent (Superman). Lois is admiring the baby bassinet, which Clark confirms was the one he slept in as a baby. But, he explains, he didn't send it. The mystery of why it is there is solved soon enough when Clark's parents arrive, having come to Metropolis for an anniversary vacation. Clark's mother sent it to Lois.]

Lois Lane: Yours? This was your bassinet?

Clark Kent: Yeah, but . . . I didn't have it sent here. I mean, I haven't even spoken to Dr. Klein, yet. Maybe my Mom and Dad . . .

Lois Lane: When? They've been in Metropolis for a week.

[The chime of the door bell is heard. Clark turns to look at the door, momentarily lowering his glasses so he can more easily use his X-ray vision to see through the front door to see who is there.]

Clark Kent: Well, that's them. You can ask them yourself.

[Clark walks to the front door and opens it.]

Clark Kent: Hi.

Martha Kent (Clark's mother): Hi, sorry, we forgot the key.

Jonathan Kent (Clark's father): We haven't kept you from dinner, have we?

Clark Kent: No, no, no. We've had other things to keep us busy.

[Clark points to the baby bassinet in the center of the room.]

Martha Kent: Oh! It got here!

Lois Lane: So, you did send it?

Martha Kent: Well, with all this talk of babies in the air, we called home and had our hired hand send it as a surprise.

[Martha and Jonathan Kent begin a stream of dialogue in which each finishes the other's sentences, demonstrating how close they have become over the many years they have been a married couple.]

Jonathan Kent: And if we were being a little--

Martha Kent: --presumptuous. But, the idea of having a grandchild is just, is so--

Jonathan Kent: --exciting! We wanted to help you get--

Martha Kent: --started, and show you some--

Jonathan Kent: shortcuts, and pitch in like--

Martha Kent: --family, if that's . . . [Martha hesitates, looking at her son and her daughter-in-law questioningly. She realizes she and her husband have been a little presumptuous.]

Clark Kent: [Finishing his mother's sentence.] --Okay?

Martha Kent: Yes.

Jonathan Kent: Yes.

Lois Lane: Of course it is. I can't imagine a better set of parental experts than the people who raised my husband.

Martha Kent: Ahh... We did do a pretty good job, huh? [Martha looks at her son and gives him a hug. Jonathan pats Clark's shoulder.]

Lois Lane: That's why I'm so anxious to hear from Doctor Klein. The world needs another Clark Kent.

Clark Kent: [Chuckles slightly]

[A sound effect indicates that Clark's super-hearing is operative. He hears words from a distant location or words of trouble that were transmitted over airwaves.

A security person's voice, heard from afar: Guard down at Metropolis Federal Penitentiary.

[Clark Kent takes off his glasses, beginning his "transformation" into Superman. The jocular, comfortable demeanor he had with his wife and family has given way to a serious face. He looks at his wife.]

Clark Kent: Trouble at the Penitentiary.

[Clark Kent, as Superman, flies away instantly, leaving his knowing wife and parents to watch him leave. They are mostly unconcerned. This the life they have become accustomed to.]

[Cut to new scene: Metropolis Federal Penitentiary. Two men from the coronor's office wheel out a gurney covered by a tarp: It is the dead body of the guard who was murdered by Dr. Mensa. A recently landed Superman talks to a woman who is apparently a prison investigator official.]

Superman: Who did this?

Prison investigator: Apparently no one. The gate came down on its own.

Superman: How is that possible?

Prison investigator: We didn't think it was. Brakes have gotta be taken off. That big lever thrown.

[The prison official is here explaining that they didn't think it was possible for the gate to come down on its own because in order for the gate to come down, a person must manually disengage the brakes on the gate and must also manually pull the big lever. Neither she nor Superman yet understand that Dr. Mensa did these things - with his mind.]

Superman: And no one touched 'em?

Prison investigator: The tower guard saw it happen. The machinery moved like it had a mind of its own.

[Superman says nothing more. He merely looks at the scene with a concerned look on his face.]

[Timecode: 4 minutes, 40 seconds. Cut to new scene. Establishing shot, an upscale highrise apartment building. Then we see the inside of a nice Yuppie apartment. A thirty-something Yuppie man works out by peddaling on a stationary exercise cycle. His name is Carter Clavens (played by actor Rick Lawless). He listens to music on earphones. Focus on the lock to the front door of the apartment. We hear a sound effect indicating that Dr. Mensa is using his telekinetic powers. The deadbolt lock latch moves of its own accord. The door knob turns and the door swings open. Dr. Mensa stands in the doorway momentarily and then walks in. He uses his mental powers to stop the machine playing music into the earphones. Carter Clavens takes his earphones off and looks at them with a confused look. Because he was listening to music, he never heard the door open, nor did he hear Dr. Mensa walk up behind him. Suddenly Dr. Mensa speaks and Carter Clavens turns, shocked and frightened.]

Dr. Mensa: I never did like Andy Williams. [Commenting on the music that Carter Clavens was listening to while exercising.]

Carter Clavens: M- Mensa! Whuh- What are are you doing here? I thought you were in prison.

Dr. Mensa: I'm rehabilitated. Or so they say . . . I've repented of my schemes. Knock over Fort Knox and the Bank of England and Merv Griffen's beach house . . . Or so they say.

Carter Clavens: How did you get in here? The door was locked.

Dr. Mensa: I thought it open. Could have thought my way out of that prison, too, but I didn't want to reveal my secret and ruin my plans.

Carter Clavens: What plans?

Dr. Mensa: The plan to take revenge on those who betrayed me.

Carter Clavens: Y- You told us-- You told us the goal of Dynomonics was to gather the best and the brightest, develop our mental abilities to the maximum and together achieve greatness.
Lois and Clark Season 4 Episode 22: Yuppie Scientologist (Dynomonics follower) Carter Clavens confronts Dr. Mensa

Dr. Mensa: Precisely.

Carter Clavens: What you really wanted was to pull off criminal feats no one had ever done before.

Dr. Mensa: None of you had a problem with that, until the cops seized my weapons and my plans and threw me into jail.

Carter Clavens: That was because we were under your spell.

Dr. Mensa: And not one of my trusted inner circle came to my defense!

Carter Clavens: Is it my imagination, or is your head . . . bigger?

Dr. Mensa: Did you know the average human uses less than ten percent of his brain? I use ninety-eight point six percent of mine. [98.6%]
Lois and Clark Season 4 Episode 22: Dr. Mensa (Fat Head): average human uses less than 10% of brain

Carter Clavens: Is that why they call you Fat Head?

Dr. Mensa: I hate that name!!

[Upon hearing Dr. Mensa's threatening tone, Carter Clavens puts his hands up defensively.]

Dr. Mensa: I spent five years in solitary, using Dynomonics to develop my brain to the ultimate.

Carter Clavens: Why?

Dr. Mensa: Because I knew one day I'd be out, ready to start over, right where I left off. But this time, alone.

[Dr. Mensa being using his telekinetic powers to force Carter Clavens to pedal the stationary exercise bike. He starts peddaling faster and faster, uncontrollably.]

Carter Clavens: Whuh? What's going on? What are you doing?

Dr. Mensa: Thinking.

[Dr. Mensa uses his mental powers to force the stationary exercise bike across the wood floor, all the way to through the large glass window, forcing Carter Clavens, who is on the bike, to crash through the glass and plummet to his death. He screams as he falls. Dr. Mensa smirks and calmly turns to leave.]

Dr. Mensa: The mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Lois and Clark Season 4 Episode 22: Carter Clavens crashes through window on exercise bike Lois and Clark Season 4 Episode 22: Carter Clavens crashes through window on exercise bike
Lois and Clark Season 4 Episode 22: Dr. Mensa (Fat Head): the mind is a terrible thing to waste

[End of scene.]

[New scene: The interior of the newspaper offices of the Daily Planet, which is where Lois Lane and Clark Kent. Lois walks into the office area with her father, Sam Lane. He is laughing good naturedly.]

Sam Lane: Thanks for lunch, Honey.

Lois Lane: Sure. Now that you've rented lab space here in town we should do it more often.

Sam Lane: Ah. [Nods his head in agreement.]

Lois Lane: Um, listen. About this reconcilliation between you and me and, uh, you and Mother . . . Um, I was . . . just . . . Oh, gosh, how do I say this? Ummm... I-- I was-- just hoping that you won't--

Sam Lane: Blow it?

[Lois lets out an anxious breath and her face shows that her father correctly surmised what she was trying to say.]

Sam Lane: Yeah, me too. Family skills are uncharted waters.

Lois Lane: Maybe for all three of us, huh?

Sam Lane: Look, I've gotta get going. This project could put me on the scientific map!

Lois Lane: Really?

Sam Lane: Mmm. If Vanna White does the infomercial. Kaching!

Lois Lane: [Laughs.] Go get 'em, Daddy.

[Lois turns to her desk as her father turns to exit. Jimmy Olsen approaches excitedly.]

Jimmy Olsen: You know, it doesn't matter how much money you have. When you're time is up, it's up.

Lois Lane: [Gamely attempting to guess what Jimmy is talking about.] Fortune cookie!

Jimmy Olsen: Carter Clavern. Rich. Powerful. Healthy. Dead. Fell thirty stories. Splat.

[NOTE: It sounds like Jimmy is saying "Carter Clavern", but in the credits the character is identified as "Carter Clavens." In the subtitles, Jimmy's line is transcribed having him saying "Carter Claven."]

Lois Lane: Suicide?

Jimmy Olsen: Exercycle bike went right out the window with him on it.

Lois Lane: How?

[Clark Kent approaches, listening to the conversation.]

Jimmy Olsen: By itself.

Lois Lane: By itself?

Jimmy Olsen: The cops said it was like the bike had a mind of its own, or something.

Lois Lane: [Looking at Clark] That's what the guard told Superman about the prison gates, isn't it?

[Clark says nothing. His mind is actually on something else entirely - something very personal.]

Lois Lane: Jimmy, see if you can find any other connection between the two deaths, okay?

Jimmy Olsen: Got it.

[Jimmy Olsen exits. Clark waits until Jimmy is out of earshot. He has a serious look on his face. He looks at his wife.]

Clark Kent: Can we . . . talk? Privately?

[Lois and Clark enter the Conference Room on the floor, a room adjacent to the large open area where their desks are located.]

Clark Kent: I just, uh, came back from S.T.A.R. Labs.

Lois Lane: Really? Well, you could've just called me. What did Dr. Klein say?

[Clark Kent lets out a slight sigh. The look on his face tells Lois everything she needs to know.]

Lois Lane: Oh, you . . . You couldn't just call me. 'Cause the, uh, the news . . . The news isn't good.

Clark Kent: Dr. Klein ran every possible test he could. Poor guy could barely even face me. But . . . he told me that Superman's biology and an Earth woman's are incompatible for reproduction.

[Lois Lane covers her face with her hand. She begins to sob audibly. Clark puts his hand on her shoulder to steady her. Tender music is heard.]

Clark Kent: I told myself I'd never make you cry. I'm sorry.

Lois Lane: I feel so confused. I feel like I, like I lost something I never really had.

Clark Kent: We haven't lost anything, Honey.

Lois Lane: Look, you can't try and make me feel better. I mean, that's what you always do with everything and it's sweet but I know how much you want to have kids.

Clark Kent: Lois, I want you to hear me. Okay? Really hear me. Every time . . . every time we make love . . we make . . . Love. That's the strongest life force there is. Whether or not that results in another little person . . . it, for me, it is Creation.

[Lois buries her face in Clark's chest.]

Lois Lane: Oh, Clark.

Clark Kent: You fill me with life.

[Lois puts her arms around Clark's neck and he holds her close. End of scene.]

[New scene. Focus on the baby bassinet in the front room of Lois and Clark's apartment. Pan up, we see Clark Kent, wearing a bath robe, sitting in a chair. A half-empty glass of milk sits on the table that he leans on. Clark looks at the bassinet. Lois, also wearing a bath robe, quietly walks down the stairs to join him. It is the middle of the night.]

Clark Kent: Caught me. I-- I came down for a glass of milk and I sort of noticed this sitting here.

Lois Lane: I know . . . Clark, you know how I get when I want to fix something?

Clark Kent: First you eat a lot of chocolate while you figure out your next move.

[Lois holds up the empty wrapper of a chocolate bar.]

Lois Lane: Check.

Clark Kent: [Laughs slightly and smiles upon seeing this.] Then you get that real determined look on your face, sort of like you've got right now. And then the seas part.

Lois Lane: Listen, we have come through almost every inconceivable disaster, usually by inconceivable means. And if conceiving is what we want, I think we're gonna have to be fearless once again.

[Clark looks at his wife, not really sure what she's driving at.]

Lois Lane: There's a man, a medical doctor, who's practiced his craft over the years on the cutting edge of science. He's explored some fairly esoteric areas. In fact, he treated you once.

Clark Kent: He did?

Lois Lane: In face, he saved your life.

Clark Kent: Saved my--? Wait a minute. Honey? Your father?

Lois Lane: I know. The scam artist, the dreamer.

Clark Kent: There are things that he would have to know.

Lois Lane: You're right. We'd have to tell him. We'd have to tell him everything.

[Clark lets out a breath of air, and shows an expression his face that means, "Whew, this isn't going to be easy, is this really what we should do?" End of scene.]

[New scene. Establishing shot, a 4-story Brownstone building. It is late at night some lights are on. Cut to the interior. A cluttered office, with paper everywhere piled on desks and tables. A sign reads, "Dr. Sam Lane: Inventor Extraordinaire." The phone rings. A woman's hand picks it up. It is Lois's mother, Ellen Lane. She is visiting her husband's new lab. She has only recently reconciled with her husband, Sam.]

Ellen Lane: Hello?

Lois Lane: [On the other end of the line, calling from her home.] Mother?!

Ellen Lane: Oh, hi, Baby! I just got into town, and I dropped by this . . . this, uh, rat hole that your father's working in, to surprise him. [Laughs.] Uh, you sound surprised, too.

Lois Lane: Listen, Mom. It's great to hear your voice, and it's not that I don't want to talk to you, but, um . . . Could I speak to Daddy?

Ellen Lane: Eh. 'Course, Sweetheart. Don't think for a minute that I'm hurt. [Laughs. Then the smile fades from her face and she looks serious, and probably a little bit hurt. She puts the phone down and addresses her husband Sam, who is hovered over some lab equipment and papers with his assistant, a middle-aged Russian man named Misha (played by actor Brian George).] Sam.

Sam Lane: Huh?

Ellen Lane: Your daughter.

[Sam Lane picks up the phone from his wife, with Lois trying to tell her mother that she and her mother will have lunch together. Lois asks he dad if he will come by for coffee tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, Ellen Lane talks to Misha, explaining that she never met one of Sam's partners before. This scene serves as a good introduction to Misha, who is an important character throughout the rest of the episode. One of the inventions that Misha tells Ellen they are working on is called "Breasts in a Bottle," apparently a concoction that will enhance women's figures. Finally Sam Lane is done talking to Lois on the phone and rescues an exasperated Misha from Ellen Lane's pestering questions. Sam Lane invites his wife out to dinner and they leave Misha alone in the lab.]

[While Misha works on further inventions, a limosine pulls up to the building. The tinted window rolls down and we see Dr. Mensa in the back seat, looking up at the lit window of the lab. Inside the lab, we see keys on a keyboard being depressed, as if pressed by an invisible force. Something is typing a message on a computer screen. Misha stares at the sight. On the screen, the message "I Know where you are" is typed over and over again. Back in the limosine we see Dr. Mensa concentrating, with an angry look on his face. Suddenly the table Misha is working at begins shaking, seemingly of its own accord, and glassware crashes to the floor. Vials of liquid shake. The computer screen is cleared of its many lines of "I Know where you are," and a single word appear on it in a larger font size: "Afraid?" With a sudden burst of mental power, Dr. Mensa causes the main widow to the office to shatter inwards, greatly frightening Misha. The window of the limosine rolls back up, hiding Dr. Mensa's face once again, and the car drives away.]

[The next scene takes place at Lois and Clark's apartment, the next morning. Clark's parents are there. Lois and Clark and Clark's parents have prepared coffee and muffins. This is when they plan to tell Lois's father about Clark's secret - that he is really Superman, and then enlist his help in finding a solution to their infertility problem. Lois expresses the belief that Clark's secret will be safe, because other than the four of them, her father will be the only other person who knows. But, to the surprise of Lois and Clark, Sam Lane arrives with Ellen. Lois and Clark end up revealing Clark's secret to Sam in the kitchen, and much humor ensues around the fact that Ellen clearly knows that everybody there is keeping a secret from her, but they insist this is not the case, and she has no real evidence to the contrary - just a feeling that something fishy is going on. There is much humor throughout the rest of this episode stemming from the fact that Ellen doesn't know that Clark is Superman, but everybody else around her seems to know some secret related to the family.]

[Just after Clark Kent has shown a surprised Sam Lane that he is really Superman, we cut from Lois and Clark's apartment to Sam Lane's laboratory. Misha is hurridly packing up some things, getting ready to leave. He has nailed some boards over the shattered window, and also over the door to the lab. He is afraid after the demonstration of telekinetic power last night, and he suspects he knows who caused it. He is getting ready to flee the city in an attempt to hide. The sound effect is head that indicates the use of Dr. Mensa's telekinetic power. The boards and and nails that are nailed to to the lab door shake and loosen, and the lab door swings open. An angry Dr. Mensa stand sin the doorway. Misha looks on this man with fear and recognition. Dr. Mensa scowls at Misha.]

Misha: Mensa?! Or is it "Fat Head" now?
Lois and Clark Season 4 Episode 22: Scientologist (Dynomonics follower) Misha, a brilliant Russian scientist, partner of Lois Lane's father Sam Lane

[Misha asks this question not out of mockery, but because he seems to think, as so many other people do, that Dr. Klaus Mensa really does go by the name "Fat Head."]

Dr. Mensa: Don't call me Fat Head!

[Dr. Mensa uses his telekinetic powers to levitate vials and other glassware and hurl them toward Misha. The items of glassware shatter as they strike the brick wall right next to where Misha is cowering.]

Dr. Mensa: You could've been the Commisar of Science in my Dynomonics empire!
Lois and Clark Season 4 Episode 22: Dr. Mensa (Fat Head) to Misha: You could've been the Commisar of Science in my Dynomonics empire!

Misha: Then I would've had to kill thousands of people and blown up thousands of buildings. I could not live with that!

Dr. Mensa: Ah. And double-crossing me, you think you can live with that?

Misha: No! Please, you must listen to what I'm saying!

[Dr. Mensa uses his powers to levitate a rope, sending one end over a strong pipe running along the ceiling, and then making the rope snake back down and wrap around Misha's neck. The rope begins to lift up slightly, beginning to hang Misha by the neck. Misha grasps the rope, trying to pull it way from his neck.]

Dr. Mensa: How do you say "So long, loser" in Ruskie?

Misha: If Misha dies, secret dies with him!
Lois and Clark Season 4 Episode 22: Dr. Mensa (Fat Head) telekinetically hangs Misha with rope

Dr. Mensa: Secret? What secret?

Misha: Secret of giving you power you always dream of!

[Dr. Mensa looks around the lab disdainfully, unimpressed. He picks up the nearest bottle and reads the label.]

Dr. Mensa: With what? "Breasts in a Bottle"?

Misha: Weapon. Secret weapon you once begged me to create.

Dr. Mensa: You did it? Are you telling me you've actually build the gizmo?

[Dr. Mensa stops using his powers on the rope, releasing Misha from its grasp.]

Misha: Yes. Yes. Amplifier . . . that will harness Fat Head's superior mental ability. Multiplied a thousandfold. Make you able to bend anyone or anything to your will.

Dr. Mensa: Well! Don't just stand there, you quivering, craven coward! Trot it out!

Misha: [Looks around the lab, stalling.] Is not perfected yet.

Dr. Mensa: Not perfected?

Misha: A little fine tuning. Needs a little fine tuning. Then! Perfected very soon.

Dr. Mensa: You have til tomorrow morning. And don't even think about running out on me. I've got eyes and ears everywhere. And more importantly, I got a brain.

[End of scene. Cut back to Lois and Clark's apartment, where Sam, Lois and Clark emerge from the kitchen after telling Sam about Clark's secret. Ellen Lane guesses that they are holding something from her, but she tries to be cordial, and she tries to dismiss her fears that they all know something that she doesn't. Before Sam leaves, Clark tells him that he'll get the S.T.A.R. Labs files on Superman over to him. End of scene.]

[Next scene: Sam Lane and Misha are in Sam's lab. Sam pours over the paperwork from S.T.A.R. Labs, but he is frustrated by what he sees. He can see no way around Superman's fertility problem. Misha, meanwhile, is worried, knowing that he must come up with something to give to Dr. Mensa. Misha suspects that Sam might have something useful. He uses a tiny spyglass to look at a paper Sam is looking at, and sees the name of S.T.A.R. Labs on the paper. Misha drugs a cup of coffee that he gives to Sam, and uses a truth serum to try to get Sam to tell him what secret project he is studying, hoping it will be something he can use to buy his safety from Dr. Mensa. Eventually Misha learns from Sam that Clark Kent is really Superman. When Dr. Mensa returns, Misha gives him this information, and Dr. Mensa plots how to use this information for criminal gain.]

[Before Dr. Mensa learns Clark Kent's secret, however, he attempts to use his telekinetic powers to engage in more mundane criminal activities, apparently pursuant to his eventual goal of establishing a criminal empire or a Dynomonics empire or simply getting rich. On a busy downtown Metropolis street, we see Dr. Mensa's limosine pull up. Dr. Mensa eyes an armored car. He causes a guard's gun to fly out of its holster and knock the guard unconscious. Then Dr. Mensa takes control of an armored car and forces it to drive away. The driver still at the steering wheel of the armored car can't do anything to stop it. The vehicle's erratic driving endangers people, causing people to scream, which attracts Superman's attention. Superman stops the vehicle, but he is unaware that it was a person with telekinetic powers who was causing these strange things to happen, and he is unaware that the would-be thief is watching from a nearby parked car. But Dr. Mensa sees Superman thwart his attempted heist, and he realizes that Superman will be an obstacle to his criminal goals. Dr. Mensa rolls the limosine window back up, murmuring "Superman..."]

[Timecode: 25 minutes, 2 seconds. New scene: Offices of the Daily Planet. Clark Kent and Lois Lane sit at their desks discussing the story they are developing surrounding the mysterious recent crimes involving things that move on their own accord.]

Clark Kent: Okay. This one is pretty strange. First the guard gets knocked out by his own gun. Then the armored car takes off and the driver said it was driving itself.

Lois Lane: Like the exercise bike moved by itself or the prison gate moved by itself. Just as Klaus Mensa was released. Oh, by the way, we found out that Klaus Mensa started this cult called Dynomonics. They believed anything could be achieved with advanced mental techniques. I'm going to try my father again. I don't know why he's not answering.
Lois and Clark Season 4 Episode 22: Lois Lane and Clark Kent (Superman) investigate Dr. Mensa, who founded the Dynomics

[Unbeknownst to Lois, the reason her father is not answering his phone is that he has been drugged by his assistant, Misha, who is trying to extract useful information from him in the hopes of learning something that will prevent Dr. Mensa from killing him. Lois tries calling her father, but only gets his answering machine. Lois's mother surprises her by showing up. Lois hears Sam's answering machine and is further suspicious that Lois and Clark and Sam and others are hiding something from her. Lois and Clark's cover story is that they are working on a scientifically-oriented story for the newspaper, with Sam's help. Lois's mother is worried that Lois might be dying but isn't telling her. Lois assures her that she isn't dying.]

[In the next scene Misha finally learns from the truth-drugged Sam Lane that Clark Kent is really Superman. Just after he learns this fact, Dr. Mensa arrives at the lab. Dr. Mensa is angry when Misha tells him that the weapon is "not quite perfected," but then is interested when Misha tells him that he has some information that is even better.]

[In the next scene we see Lois and Clark meeting in the newspaper conference room with a representative from an adoption agency. The psychologist from the adoption agency tells the couple that Clark Kent is a perfectly suitable candidate to adopt a child. She rated Clark Kent a 97 on a scale from 1 to 100. But she gave Lois only a 19 out of 100 because Lois habitually finds her life in danger, in situations so precarious that she requires being rescued by Superman. The lady tells Lois and Clark that these results are preliminary, but that at this time the agency simply can't give the couple a recommendation to become adoptive parents.]

[In the next scene, Ellen Lane arrives at the apartment of Lois and Clark to confront Martha Kent about the secret that everybody knows except her. At one point, Ellen Lane even asks Martha to look her in the eye and say to her, "Ellen, may God strike me dead if we're keeping something from you." Of course, Martha can't say anything to that. As a devout Methodist Christian, Martha Kent doesn't want to risk the wrath of God by swearing on His name falsely.]
Lois and Clark Season 4 Episode 22: Ellen Lane (Lois Lane's mother) urgest Martha Kent (Superman's mother) to invoke God if she is keeping anything from her. Lois and Clark Season 4 Episode 22: Martha Kent (Superman's mother) does not dare sware falsely in the name of God that she is not keeping a secret from Ellen Lane (Lois Lane's mother)

[A very funny moment occurs right after Ellen tells Martha that it's starting to feel that every single person in the world knows something that she doesn't know. Then Dr. Mensa bursts into the room and declares: "I know a secret!" Ellen exclaims, "My God! Even him!"]

[Dr. Mensa uses his powers to abduct Ellen Lane and Martha Jonathan. he takes them to Sam Lane's lab, where Misha holds a gun on them. Misha is clearly afraid of Dr. Mensa, but doesn't really want to hurt anybody. Dr. Mensa arrives with Jonathan Kent, having captured Clark's father as well. He then has both sets of parents: Clark's adoptive parents and his parents-in-law. Dr. Mensa wants to hold Clark's loved ones hostage to blackmail Superman into not interferring while Dr. Mensa steals a shipment of gold heading to Fort Knox.]

[Before Lois and Clark learn about the peril their parents are in, they talk about Lois's anger over being rejected as an adoptive parent.]

[Timecode: 34 minutes, 16 seconds. Scene: Newspaper offices of the Daily Planet.]

Clark Kent: Honey, she is not the final word on this. Don't be sad.

Lois Lane: I'm not sad. I'm angry. You know, it's discrimination. What? No people with risky jobs can have kids? So I guess cops and test pilots and trapeeze artists can forget it, too. And, what does she think? Does she think that I'm deliberately gonna run around sticking my neck out after I adopt a child. I mean, how dumb does she think I am?

[This may be a very subtle allusion to two of Superman's DC Universe superhero colleagues: Robin (Dick Grayson), whose parents were trapeeze artists, and Green Lantern (Hal Jordan), a test pilot. Of course, a number of Clark's friends are cops, including Barry Allen, the Flash.]

Clark Kent: See, this is why I love you.

Lois Lane: Because I'm crabby?

Clark Kent: No, because you never give up. We'll figure something out. Now, in the mean time, we'll just have a terrific family of two.

[Jimmy Olsen enters the scene and sits down across from Lois and Clark.]

Jimmy Olsen: Okay, guess which cult Mr. Exercise Bike was involved with?

Lois Lane: Dynomonics.
Lois and Clark Season 4 Episode 22: Jimmy Olsen tells Lois Lane and Clark Kent to guess which cult murder victim Carter Clavens belonged to: Dynomonics

Jimmy Olsen: Yup. Run by Klaus Mensa. He, uh, believed the mind was capable of anything, and he spent his life trying to focus the power of his whole brain, not just the little that most of us use. Heh. This is really interesting. All right, this is a picture taken of him before he went to prison. And this was taken after he got out. In prison he got the nickname "Fat Head." Wonder why, huh?
Lois and Clark Season 4 Episode 22: Before and after photos of Dr. Mensa, who obtained enlarged psionic head and became Fat Head. He is played by Harry Anderson

Clark Kent: His head looks like an overdeveloped muscle.

Lois Lane: Clark, that prison guard died after Fat Head was released. By a gate closing by itself. And the exercise bike that killed Carter Clavens.

Clark Kent: And the armored truck that Superman stopped.

Lois Lane: Have you ever seen Uri Geller do his act? He focuses his mind on a fork . . .

Clark Kent: --and it bends. All by itself.

Lois Lane: Telekinesis. I think Klaus Mensa's turned his mind into a deadly weapon.

[Clark Kent's super hearing hears an emergency. A woman's voice can be heard saying "Full tactical alert. Full tactical alert." The address is given - the address of the bank that Dr. Mensa said in the previous scene an armored truck would be leaving from containing gold bound for Fort Knox.]

Lois Lane: What? What are you hearing?

Clark Kent: I'm not sure. Something's going on at the New Troy Bank.

[Clark stands up and leaves the room. We know he is heading to the scene of the crime as Superman.]

[Cut to a busy scene on a street in downtown Metropolis. Police cars are all around, sirens blaring. People are fleeing the scene. There are police vehicles overturned and on fire. Superman arrives in the middle of the chaos. Dr. Mensa emerges from the bank entrance, using a mechanical mini-fork lift to bring four large cases of gold bullion outside. A police officer shoots his revolver and a bullet flies toward Dr. Mensa. Mensa stops the bullet inches from his face, and forces the bullet to head back to the gun that fired it, causing the policeman's hand to be injured, making him drop the gun. Superman approaches Dr. Mensa, telling him that his powers won't work on him. Mensa retorts, "Probably true. That's why I got ahold of the people you love the most." Dr. Mensa threatens the lives of the "big four" if Superman moves a muscle to stop him.]

[Cut to Sam Lane's lab, where Clark's parents and Lois's parents have heavy chains wrapped around them, confining them to chairs. Misha wears a gas mask and frets as he watches his captives. He listens to Dr. Mensa's words over a two-way radio.]

Dr. Mensa (overheard via the two-way radio): You think I'm joking, big boy? Try me. Not so sure of yourself now, are you?

Sam Lane: [Chained up, addressing Misha.] Better think this through, Misha. Sitting around that cult of yours, a crime spree might have sounded kind of fun. But this is serious! Those cops are hurt!

Jonathan Kent: Any chance of you rebuilding your life is getting mighty slim.

Misha: [Removes his gas mask so he can address his captives directly.] Shut up, both of you. I don't have a choice!

[Cut to the street outside New Troy Bank.]

Dr. Mensa: You got any doubt that I'm holding onto your loved ones, I'll let 'em talk to you. Over a frequency only you and I can hear.

[Lois Lane walks up and stands next to Superman. Superman whispers to her.]

Superman: [To Lois] He says he's got our parents.

Dr. Mensa: Well, the little wife showed up, too. Perfect.

[Misha holds a microphone up to Jonathan Kent's mouth. He lets Jonathan speak and then moves to the other parents in turn, putting the microphone in front of each of them.]

Jonathan Kent: Hi. I'm afraid it's true.

Martha Kent: He's got me, too.

Superman: [To Lois.] He does have them.

Ellen Lane: Superman! Ellen Lane!

[Misha looks on at these four elderly people he is holding captive. He knows he is doing a terrible thing and he decides to try to fix things. He speaks to his captives quietly so that Dr. Mensa can not hear.]

Misha: All right. I'll help you. What do we do?

Sam Lane: Come here.

[Sam Lane motions for Misha to hold the microphone up to his mouth. Misha does so and Sam Lane speaks into it. He has a plan, the first part of which involves getting a coded message to Superman and Lois.]

Sam Lane: [Into microphone so Dr. Mensa, Lois and Superman can hear.] Rainbows follow stormy skies.

Superman: [To Lois] Your father just said, "Rainbows follow stormy skies."

Lois Lane: He used to say that when I was a kid. It means . . . Everything's all right.

[Superman walks toward Dr. Mensa.]

Dr. Mensa: All right, stop right there. No closer, pal. That's it. Okay, I warned you. [Grabbing hold of his headset microphone and speaking into it, addressing Misha over their radio frequency.] Gas 'em!

[Screams and coughing and choking sounds can be heard over the two-way radio. Dr. Mensa smiles triumphantly. Superman stands with his arms folded in front of his chest. The scene cuts back to Sam Lane's lab where we see Misha holding the microphone in front of the now unchained four parents of Lois and Clark. Sam, Ellen, Martha and Jonathan are simply pretending to be suffering a terrible fate after exposure to gas. In truth, Misha never subjected them to any poisonous gas. Misha is now helping them. The parents start giving each other "high fives" (slapping their hands together). Superman grabs Dr. Mensa.]

Dr. Mensa: Didn't you hear that? Man, you are a cold fish!

[Superman pushes Dr. Mensa to a police car and then wraps a steel street sign around the captive criminal, pinning his arms to his side.]

Superman: Lieutenant, I'm gonna take this car and personally fly it back to the Penitentiary myself!

[Dr. Mensa looks up at a billboard hanging on the building that the crowd stands under. Dr. Mensa's power loosens the bolts that keep the sign on the wall, and forces the sign to fall toward the crowd. Superman must fly up to the sign and weld it back in place. While Superman is thus distracted, Dr. Mensa steals a police car and drives away. We next see Dr. Mensa arrive at Sam Lane's lab, exclaiming that "Superman doesn't care that I killed his parents! The guy's gone beserk! Where's that machine that will pump up my power?"

[Of course, Misha never really made such a machine, but there is a machine - an invention called the "Bummer-Be-Gone" that he and Sam Lane which is supposed to remove unpleasant memories from a person's mind. This machine was mentioned early in the episode when Ellen Lane chatted with Misha. That was part of a set up that is paid off here. Misha tricks Dr. Mensa into using the machine on himself, thinking that it will amplify his powers. What actually happens is that the machine causes Dr. Mensa's head to return to normal size, making him lose his powers, and also making him forget everything from the recent past. The effect of the machine also leaks to reach Lois Lane's parents, who are "playing possum," pretendingto be dead. It causes both of them and Misha to forget that they know that Clark Kent is really Superman. Hmmm... This machine's malfunctioning actually worked out quite conveniently for Lois and Clark.]

[In the next scene we see Clark and Lois in their bed at night. Lois remarks, "Well, my parents are back to normal. Clueless that their son-in-law moonlights in tights." Lois tells Clark once again that she is sorry that they can't have children. Clark says he has faith that a child is brought about by love, and that they of all people should have faith that they will be able to have a child. Then Clark's super hearing hears something incredible downstairs. They go downstairs and find, in Clark's old baby bassinet, an infant child. A Superman "S" blanket is wrapped around the happy, cooing child. A note is with the child. It reads, "Lois and Clark, This child belongs to you."

Lois's parents and Clark's parents come downstairs, having noticed the lights going on downstairs. Clark says, "Mom and Dad . . . and . . Mom and Dad. We have something to tell you. Lois walks out from behind Clark and shows their parents the baby. Lois and Clark smile. It seems they are now parents.]

[This was the final episode of the fourth season of Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman This scene, in which Lois and Clark receive a surprise infant child, was the cliff-hanger for the season. The infant child will, of course, return as the 5th season opens. Dr. Klaus "Fat Head" Mensa will not be heard from again.]

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